At the End of This Swaying, Fraying Rope

There’s a level of desperation around our house these days.  Winter has set in and we’re cramped and snotty, sneezing and feverish.  We’re making daily trips to the store for things we forgot and debating who should go to the Dr. next as we shuffle endless loads of laundry from basket to washer to dryer and back to the basket again. 

It feels like an endless game of “whack-a-mole” as I field phone calls and drop offs and trips to the library then turn to see one twin chewing on the now-empty bottle of infant Ibuprophen.  As I run to call poison control, hurdling the baby gates like an Olympic athlete, I realize I can’t even be sure who drank the medicine, so I run back to check both boys over, frantically searching for tell-tale sticky hands and berry-flavored breath.  Thankfully, it was "not a toxic dose."
I called the Dr. yesterday morning about our son who’s running a high fever after two days of antibiotics and left the wrong birth date on the message.  I thought it was wrong as I said it and tried to correct myself, so in the end the message went something like this, “His birthday is 8.11.2011.  Or wait, that’s not right, it might be 8.10.2011.  I’m sorry, I really can’t remember right now.”
I'm at the end of my rope, you see, hanging here white-knuckled with fingers grasped tight. As I dangle, gasping for breath, waiting for things to stop spinning, I'm reminded of Eugene Peterson's translation of Jesus' first Beatitude,
“You’re blessed when you’re at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule."
This, of course, catches me up short.  Blessed, right here, right now, dangling, struggling, sagging with nowhere to go.  Blessed because the end of me is not the end of everything, only the beginning of something more, Someone more. 
I'm reminded too of something I read a few months ago in Scott Cairns' book, Short Trip to the Edge (which I also wrote about HERE).  Cairns is an Orthodox Christian and writes briefly about the role of a prayer rope, a string of 33 square knots that are used to focus the fingers and mind during prayer.  As Cairns puts it, the prayer rope "does its bit to re-pair the inherent schism within the human person, [it] helps to  . . . bring the mind into the heart (36)."   
As I reflected on this image the idea came to me that prayer itself is like the weaving of a rope that leads us deep into the heart of God where we are anchored and at rest.  The rope woven through prayer is so different than the one I work my way along most days.  I struggle daily along the rope of my own striving like a scrawny adolescent in gym class trying to perfect the hand-over-hand technique necessary for upward momentum.  This rope, the end of which dangles before me daily, is one of my own making, my striving, my success or failure. 

But the rope of prayer begins where that one ends and leads downward out of myself or perhaps deeper in to the place where Christ now dwells in my heart as I asked him to all those long years ago.  This rope of prayer, when I tend it and mend it, leads me to the places of deep blessedness and true security.
Once again I lower my expectations and ease myself down off of so many cliffs of my own making. I sit down, sink down into grace and love and with every prayer I find the courage to let go one more time, to lean-in to the blessedness. 

Here I am, again, at the end of me; here I am, again, blessed.

A Prayer for Winter (when the world is sleeping)


                            

                        Oh God, send us a Cardinal;
                          a bright visitor flitting
                          across the landscape of this
                          wide and dimly lit world
                          that lies sleeping.

                       Send us a moment of beauty
                          to reawaken us,
                          just one bright messenger of Hope.

                       Amen.

Unhitched (how I ended up in this field of wild flowers)

Last January I quit my job . . . this is the story of how I was given the courage to do it.


My small church graciously held open my position as associate pastor for six months after the twins were born.  As the time ticked by and the heavy heat of summer turned into fall, then winter, my mind and heart danced anxiously around the decision of whether or not I would return to work.  There were the usual pressures, finances and a fear of losing ground professionally, as well as the fear of losing myself in the incredible task of caring for four young children if I didn’t return to work. 

In my heart, though, I knew I simply couldn’t do it.  At five months out my body was still worn-out from the incredible pregnancy, the birth and the long-haul endurance race of breastfeeding twins.  The answer was simple, clear even, and I knew I couldn’t go back to work, couldn’t spin one more plate even if I wanted to. 
Still, I waffled, circling the kitchen in the evening while cooking dinner.  I peppered my wary husband with questions and arguments, offering different angles to consider and repeating again and again the questions, “I can’t do this, can I?” and “Am I crazy to even think of going back to work?” 
My husband wisely kept to neutral ground while voicing his support for “whatever I decided to do.”
I reached a decision, though I still could hardly speak of it, and told our main pastor.  I tearfully wrote a letter of resignation and headed to the board meeting where I would make my big announcement.  I got there early, my typed letters laying lightly in a bag at my side and sat down directly across from my friend, the senior pastor, who asked one more time, “Are you sure, you want to be done?”
It was a simple question, probably more for the sake of conversation than real inquiry, but I felt its pull like gravity.  In that moment I felt my need to be needed, my love of work, my desire to be important, all of those rose to meet the question and I paused as any addict might when confronted with a whiff, a glimpse of that which he or she has decided to renounce.
Then a vision came, brief and vibrantly clear, like a flash in my mind.  I saw a donkey standing in a field beside a heavy yoke that lay in the grass.  At the same time, while seeing the yoke and feeling the familiar pull of my old job, I also saw the sunlit field, which lay like a colorful quilt spread beneath a bright blue sky.  The field was filled with flowers, a joyful, chaotic display of beauty that stood like an invitation all around. 
The clarity of the invitation - to set aside my "work" and simply explore that field in all it's beauty - helped me find the freedom to choose.  There would be no condemnation if I chose to return to work, the donkey after all is a beast of burden, gifted at getting the job done.  But suddenly I could see more than the work that needed to be done.  I could see the field as more than a means to an end, more than just furrow after furrow of earth to turn for productivity’s sake.  I saw the beauty and possibility; I saw it could be a place for resting, a place for savoring and enjoying, a place worth exploring rather than cultivating, if only for a season. 
“Yes,” I said, “I’m sure,” though the tears still threatened to rise. 
I've cried many times since making that decision, felt waves of grief rise up on Sunday mornings as I miss the pulpit and its power, as I miss the role and the joy of getting behind the plow with a team and getting things done.  Yet I realize now that the work will always be there, but these precious beautiful flowers, oh my, they fade so quickly, I can hardly take them in and I don’t think I could live with myself if I missed even just one. 
I made my choice and wherever you see a field of wild flowers, that’s where I’ll be, just wandering, waiting, breathing them in and, oh my, if this is your season to work, may God bless you in it, but do stop by from time to time and I’ll show you what I’ve found, what God keeps showing me out in this field of beauty and wonder.      
Want to read more about the transition to being a mother of four?  You might enjoy, The Blessing or Impossible.  Follow this blog on facebook at A Field of Wild Flowers or on twitter @inthefieldswGod.
Photo credit: asergeev.com

Incarnation (God Stoops and Bows and Stretches Out Among Us)

The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. John 1:14 a


Every day after their naps I carry my one year old twins down the stairs, one on each hip, like a hulking maternal weight-lifter.  Pausing in the kitchen, I lean them over the counter one at a time to grab their matching sippy cups and then hurry toward the living room hoping to make it there before my arms give-out.  Still holding them as they grip on to my shirt and cling to their precious juice, we all slide slowly to the floor where I sit cross-legged in front of the couch, one boy on each leg.
Here they alternate between snuggling and gulping, occasionally working out a tenuous trade of cups, a treaty composed entirely of gestures and grunts.  There’s an invisible, but mutually agreed-upon line of separation that runs down the middle of me - if one crosses into the other one's territory all hell breaks loose.  This causes me to marvel at their possessiveness, their indignation at having to share me as though they’re not both being held.

Later, at the end of a long day, just before my husband gets home or after dinner when the dishes are done and the floor swept, I make my way out into the living room.  Once there, I lay down and stretch out on my back on the floor.  

I hardly hit the dusty, old carpet before the twins come running and pile on me like puppies, slobbery and sweet with their toothy, wet smiles.  Their top-heavy little bodies tip and flip and roll on and off and around me and my only care is to make sure no one gets hurt.  

Sometimes, through great effort, Isaiah rights himself and circles out and away from me.  He toddles along on stocky legs and padded baby feet, grinning his gap-toothed smile as he looks back over his shoulder, then turns, running, and dives back into me.  

When I’m on the floor, I’m theirs - my body is theirs, my time is theirs and they claim their right to me fully.  I come and lay down among them because I know they will be drawn to me and my desire is to be with them. 

It occurs to me in this season of Advent that I can think of no better image for the Incarnation.  

In my stooping and bowing, my sliding down and laying out I am mirroring God to these boys; God who comes to dwell among us, laying down, stretching out in the middle of our dusty, dirty world, hoping we will be drawn to him.  God who holds us, who delights in us and marvels over our petty arguments, our human desire to part and parcel him out as though we are not all being held. 

This post is linked with Playdates with God.

Joseph's Dream (The Surrender to a Life Larger and More Beautiful)

This year I've found myself drawn to the character of Joseph in the stories of the nativity.  Mostly I find myself wondering about him - what kind of person was he to be able to surrender to a life so far beyond his control and desire?  to allow the inklings and images of a strange dream to shape his future?  As I wondered I started writing which led to this little bit of fiction.  Enjoy!  and May your Christmas be blessed! 
 
 *   *   *   *   *
 
There was no way to get comfortable, just as there was no way to quiet his racing mind.  Laying on the thin sleeping mat it felt as though his thoughts mirrored his body, restless, twisting, turning and seeking resolution.  He rose a time or two, paced, knelt, and rose to pace again.  He wandered out at one point into the dark night, the cool air, and paused to look up at the wide sky, the brightly hanging stars.  Rather than feeling relief, though, he was overwhelmed by his own smallness so that the wideness of the sky left him feeling more lost and fearful than he had since he was a small boy.  The enormity was disorienting, frightening and he quickly turned back inside and lay down with something like resolve. 
 
Still, sleep didn’t come. 

Most of what he knew about life he’d learned from working with wood and it was no surprise that his distracted mind, even now, kept returning to his workshop.  He’d learned, over time, to read the wood and find there the answer to his questions, not in the way of the sooth-sayers, seers and magicians who lined the market square, but in the same way that every skilled craftsman knows that all things material speak also of the eternal if one is able, willing, to listen. 
So it was that his mind worked on the problem, the conversation, going over it again and again as though sanding, seeking beneath the surface some deeper meaning, some guiding revelation.  He’d turned and walked out when she told him, the largeness of her revelation, of what she was asking, striking him like the wideness of the night sky so that he felt suddenly small and foolish, lost.  His leaving was automatic, rising from the primal urge to flee in the face of pain.   

He was grateful now that he hadn’t struck out in anger or rage as he might have in his youth.  Grateful that life had taught some level of restraint. 

He’d always been a dreamer, an idealist of sorts and in his youth the use of force and power were reflexive as a means to an end.  Believing in the righteousness of his ends, his ideals, he’d been known as a hothead, a firebrand, a short fuse that was quick to light and long-burning.  His religion, his righteousness, and the accompanying anger had given him a sense of identity, a sense of arrival and of having a place to stand in the world which, at the time, he took to mean that he was at long last a man. 

It was hard to say exactly what had changed him over the years other than the usual series of failings and fallings and losses.  The wood too, had worked on him even as he worked on it.  Wood doesn’t respond well to power and anger.  It had enraged him at times working beside his own quiet father; the way he couldn’t make the wood do what he wanted it to, couldn’t make it bend to his willing, but instead had to surrender himself to its lead.  It was the wood that caught him up short time and time again, caught him in his fire and force.

It took years of projects that splintered and split apart at the last minute, of bent nails and wood that turned on him to accept that he was not in charge.  When he worked in a shop of his own he would occasionally give in to frustration and rage, throwing a project with defiance.  There was a humility required in the craft that stood at odds with everything he believed about the world and what it meant to be a man in it. 

But that was a long time ago and now he felt himself changed, smoothed, worn-down, as though he were the piece of wood and life was itself the skilled hand of the carpenter.  Life had sized him up, stripped the bark and rough edges away until he found himself exposed and yielded like wood in skilled hands. 
Life had whittled away at him until what was left was something less, but purer and he’d fallen into a habit of waiting to see what use there might be for one so diminished. 

The arrangement, the engagement, had seemed too good to be true, unexpected, but fool that he was, it brought a spark of hope.  The girl wasn’t pretty, but sturdy and young.  To his eye she seemed like a tree, a rough exterior hiding something truer within; she had a depth and presence like all trees do and he found himself drawn to her.  He’d approached the engagement like he approached most pursuits these days, slowly, watchfully, and maybe that was why her words shocked him so, stung him in a deep place. 
Now he lay wrestling unwilling to accept one more submission, one more surrender to a life larger and more painful than he’d bargained on. 

At some point he found himself dwelling in the thin space between sleeping and wakefulness and this was when the dream came.  In the dream he was working in his shop, fitfully sorting through piles of discarded wood, looking for something he couldn’t name.  There were layers of dust and wood shavings everywhere that rose up like small clouds and flew like sparks as he frantically lifted and moved the lumber. 
Then he found himself in a shaded wood.  Sunlight glinted down through the uppermost branches of tall trees, but the ground where he stood was dark and cold.  Here too he was hunting, searching for something.  His axe hung from his calloused right hand as he plowed through the woods that seemed to go on forever.  He felt a deepening anxiety as he pressed forward, stumbling over the roots of ancient trees; the feeling that he was forgetting something important mingled with the feeling that some dark shadow was following him.

He was running, crashing through the woods given over almost completely to panic when he saw a glimmer of light in the distance.  The light calmed him enough that he stilled, turned and, as it happens in dreams, found himself standing inexplicably in a brightly lit clearing.  A stream ran through it, chattering along happily and beside it stood a young tree, its leaves green and shimmering. 
Something about the tree and the happy brook and the way it contrasted with his fear and anxiety sparked a deep rage inside of him.  Feeling the axe in his hand he turned and wielded it with all the strength of his youth.  He fell the tree in a few quick fierce blows and let the head of the axe fall to the ground, leaning over it drawing in deep shaking breaths. 

Then, looking up, he saw a small shoot growing up out of the stump as if in defiance to his destruction.  It grew and sprouted branches, leaves, before his very eyes.  It was as though the tree he’d cut down contained within it the seed, the root of an even greater tree.   This, too, sparked rage in him and he leaned back, straightening, and lifted his ax into the air bent on destroying the stump and the shoot with it. 
It was then that he felt the hand, hot and heavy like fire on the back of his arm, then that he felt the Presence of one standing, hovering behind him.   The touch stopped him, mid-swing and the fullness of time fell open around him.  It was as though the angel’s touch released a damn of sorrow and fear that had been building and the intensity of it all bent his knees and brought him broken, weeping to the ground. 

There was no way to say how long this lasted; it was an eternity and a moment at once.  As he felt the fire on his arm, he felt his own fear and foolishness as he had when confronted with the night sky and when the girl had told him her story.  Then the words came like a force that pulsed through him entering not just through his ears, but through his whole being, “Do not be afraid.” 
Those words washed over him like a wave so that his fears were lifted and following, like a second wave, he heard his own name, ”Joseph, son of David.”  At the sound of his name, he felt himself returned, no longer wandering or lost, but solid, present like one who’s returned home after a long and harrowing journey. 

As he knelt, rooted beside the stream, he felt the angel lift his chin, the touch now cool and refreshing, like water from a spring.  His chin was lifted and his eyes looked to where the tree had been and there he now saw the girl, Mary.  She looked straight at him and in that gaze he felt himself being aligned with her, felt the love rising in his gut, felt for once that he knew where he was, who he was and that everything from then onward would arise out of that knowing. 
In her eyes also he saw the light of the child that would come, like a glimmer of light without shadow, a small spark that would grow.  As he looked, the angel whispered in his ear one last word, “Jesus.”   And at the sound of the name, the spark leaped in Mary’s eyes and Joseph’s heart leapt within him. 

In the morning it would seem that after the dream he’d fallen into a deep, heavy sleep,.  It was the kind of restful, peaceful sleep he would never experience again.  For though the dream located him, changing forever the map of his life, the days and years ahead were still filled with restless, shifting nights.  Nights of worry,and foreboding, nights of fleeing and the hovering fear that he would prove at long last to be nothing more than a fool.  In this way his life was sanded down, bent in ways beyond his choosing and he learned to stop wondering what it would become and lean into what was. 
During those restless nights the dream was a star that guided him and he clung to it fiercely, that and the shepherds' visit, the star that hung low and heavy over the birthing place, and the visit of three dark strangers who mumbled in a foreign tongue, fussing over the child.  All of these became points of light in the darkness so that now when he lay restless, wrestling on his mat and rose, stepping out into the wide, dark expanse of the night, he felt not small and fearful, but rooted, as one following a scattered trail of stars toward home. 

The Longest Night (Winter Solstice and Grief)


The Well is Deep

It is a long journey
down into the deep well of grief,
but there are gifts too,
along the way.
Bright and shining stones
that line the path
guiding us into the heart of things.
These appear before us
one by one
like stars across
a darkening sky.
The journey is long
and the well is deep,
but these stones sustain.

- K. Chripczuk

*   *  *   *

I feel caught this week between real grief and desired joy as I tend my little flock and run and rush between holiday concerts and parties.  I've fought the urge to tear-up while waiting in line to drop my six-year-old off at her elementary school, noticing the newly stationed policeman watching over her small, bobbing frame as she disappears through those wide doors.  And I've felt a guilty pleasure every time I get to bring her back home with me at the end of the day. I've sat through too brief moments of silence unable to wrap my mind around a single word or a prayer that might suffice, which are followed by halting renditions of Jingle-Bells and tiny voices squeaking out memorized lines of "good news of great joy for all people."  

Tonight as I stood in the kitchen finally mixing up the long-awaited Christmas cookies it occurred to me that this is the longest night of the year - the winter solstice.   Here we are just a few short days before Christmas experiencing the longest night and to top it all off it's windy and cold here and I'm walking around tossing in ingredients and stirring up cookies with a blanket wrapped around me like a toga. 

If ever there was a time to pause and feel the weight of the darkness of the world we live in, then maybe this is it.  Before we turn to solutions and be-and-do-better-isms, before we take one more step down the road of blame or we allow our hearts to be darkened any more by the deadly poison of fear, maybe we can stay, just a little longer with our grief.  The words of Alice Howell ring in my ears tonight, "In the midst of death, there is life!  In the midst of despair, there is a future!  There is a purpose to all grief - the fruit to come of it is wisdom." (Sacred Journey)

There's much to be missed if we move too quickly out of this darkness. 

Maybe, if we give this night its full measure, we will be ready for the rays of light, the bright shinning forth of joy to come.  

Where Mary Meets Us (Did You Know Mary Had Five Boys?)


But Mary treasured all these words and pondered them in her heart. Luke 2:19

I noticed her as I passed through the small chapel on my way back to my room where I would pump milk for the two babies I’d left at home. She was standing at the front of the chapel space cradling a child and as our eyes met I felt a moment of recognition and thought, “Now there’s someone I can relate to.”

This was during the first of nine mini-retreats I would be attending for a program on contemplative silence. I was disappointed to see that my fellow participants were older than me by a good twenty to thirty years. As a young mother I felt woefully out of place, painfully aware of my fear that I didn’t fit in, and afraid of the hunch that this was the wrong time in my life to embrace contemplative spirituality—to pursue a call to prayer and silence that stood in such stark contrast to the daily realities of my life.

It was with relief that I noticed the statue of Mary. There she stood, a young woman holding her young child smack-dab in the middle of that holy space and my eyes were suddenly opened to seeing Mary as a mother like me, Mary as a woman who pondered, who prayed in the midst of an everyday, ordinary life.

Continue reading this post here at shelovesmagazine.com.